Hello. It’s been a while. I am now a sophomore in college. I cannot believe that. I am going to register for classes this week, and it’s kind of scary. This semester has flown by and I cannot believe that it is almost over. I am about to finish all my gen-ed requirements at the end of this semester. This means I’m going to be focusing on my major next semester. My major is English. I love to write. I try to read when I can. I am also minoring in Photography and another minor in Film Studies. I think I will drop the second minor. I think I may replace it with Creative Writing. I really like writing. But now that I’m thinking about taking classes where people will have to read something I created in my head, it frightens me. I’m worried that I’m not good enough. I’m worried that I won’t be able to write at all. What if I’m not as good as I think I am?
One thing that has been pissing me off: whenever I talk about writing [because, you know, it’s my major] my roommate will mention how she wants to write a novel, but had now idea what to write about. I hate it when she mentions this because it does nothing for me. It actually makes me worried that I will get blocked. And now I am worried that I am blocked. I hate it. I feel like I always have ideas but getting blocked is my biggest fear. I’m worried that I can never have any more ideas than the ones I have already written. It’s an awful feeling. I don’t want to feel it, and I don’t know how to tell my roommate to shut up about that pointless fun-fact that adds nothing to the conversation except doubt.
I’m just afraid of the truth. Is it good truth? Is it bad? I’m just afraid my writing is shit and that I can never be good enough. That is all.
-Sera-Ann
The Indie Photographer 